The Criterion Closet web series, in which filmmakers and actors highlight their favorite films from the Criterion Collection’s vast library in a closet chock-full of important cinema, is beloved by cinephiles looking for insights and recommendations from their favorite artists. The simple premise generally makes for a short and satisfying viewing experience, but a recent episode turned tedious and awkward when actor John Lithgow spent 45 minutes unsuccessfully looking for a copy of Harry and the Hendersons.
Dang. Seems like they probably could have edited some of that out?
The episode begins as usual, with legendary actor John Lithgow introducing himself and saying how happy he is to be there, but instead of scanning the shelves and pulling the titles that catch his eye, Mr. Lithgow immediately starts looking in the ‘H’ section like he’s on a mission, saying, “Harry…H-A-R…Hard Boiled…Harold and Maude…hm, it’s gotta be here somewhere. I’m not seeing it. Maybe it’s under ‘Hendersons,’ his last name. H-E…Henry V…nope…Are these all alphabetical, or are they arranged by genre or release year or something? It’s from 1987. Is there a 1987 area? Is this the only closet?”
After failing to locate Harry and the Hendersons in the ‘H’ section, Mr. Lithgow begins to appear agitated, removing an entire row of Blu-rays, dropping them to the floor, and feeling around on the shelf space they occupied to search for more discs. He then picks up a copy of Happiness, looks at the cover, flips it over, reads the entire capsule description on the back to himself, then angrily throws it back to the floor.
“Harry and the Hendersons! It’s a great film!” Mr. Lithgow shouts at no one in particular. “It’s about a family who encounters a very special man who changes their lives forever,” he then screams while beginning to tear up, “The man’s name is Harry! Harry and the Hendersons! It’s a film and I’m in it! That’s how I know it’s so good. I saw it from the inside!”
At one point, an off-camera voice can be heard whispering, “Do we even have that?” followed by, “Could we go get him one? Is there a Walmart around here or anything?” Mr. Lithgow continues to pace around the closet, scanning the shelves with a pointed finger and mistakenly believing he’s finally found Harry and the Hendersons on eight different occasions. Eventually, after Mr. Lithgow spends seven minutes kneeling silently with his back to the camera, the episode ends abruptly at exactly the 45:00 mark, just as he says the word, “Harry,” for the 106th time.
Oof. We challenge anyone to try to watch this entire thing from start to finish without dying of embarrassment. Criterion Closet had better get a copy of Harry and the Hendersons STAT to make sure this never happens again!