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Pluralistic: In praise of (some) compartmentalization (14 Apr 2026)


Today's links



A male figure in an inner tube, floating down a river. The figure has been altered. He now has a zombie's head, and his skin has been tinted green, with large, suppurating sores oozing out of his skin.

In praise of (some) compartmentalization (permalink)

If there's one FAQ I get Q'ed most F'ly, it's this: "How do you get so much done?" The short answer is, "I write when I'm anxious (which is how I came to write nine books during lockdown)." The long answer is more complicated.

The first complication to understand is that I have lifelong, degenerating chronic pain that makes me hurt from the base of my skull to the soles of my feet – my whole posterior chain. On a good day, it hurts. On a bad day, it hurts so bad that it's all I can think about.

Unless…I work. If I can find my way into a creative project, the rest of the world just kind of fades back, including my physical body. Sometimes I can get there through entertainment, too – a really good book or movie, say, but more often I find myself squirming and needing to get up and stretch or use a theragun after a couple hours in a movie theater seat, even the kind that reclines. A good conversation can do it, too, and is better than a movie or a book. The challenge and engagement of an intense conversation – preferably one with a chewy, productive and interesting disagreement – can take me out of things.

There's a degree to which ignoring my body is the right thing to do. I've come to understand a lot of my pain as being a phantom, a pathological failure of my nervous system to terminate a pain signal after it fires. Instead of fading away, my pain messages bounce back and forth, getting amplified rather than attenuated, until all my nerves are screaming at me. Where pain has no physiological correlate – in other words, where the ache is just an ache, without a strain or a tear or a bruise – it makes sense to ignore it. It's actually healthy to ignore it, because paying attention to pain is one of the things that can amplify it (though not always).

But this only gets me so far, because some of my pain does have a physiological correlate. My biomechanics suck, thanks to congenital hip defects that screwed up the way I walked and sat and lay and moved for most of my life, until eventually my wonky hips wore out and I swapped 'em for a titanium set. By that point, it was too late, because I'd made a mess of my posterior chain, all the way from my skull to my feet, and years of diligent physio, swimming, yoga, occupational therapy and physiotherapy have barely made a dent. So when I sit or stand or lie down, I'm always straining something, and I really do need to get up and move around and stretch and whatnot, or sure as hell I will pay the price later. So if I get too distracted, then I start ignoring the pain I need to be paying attention to, and that's at least as bad as paying attention to the pain I should be ignoring.

Which brings me to anxiety. These are anxious times. I don't know anyone who feels good right now. Particularly this week, as the Strait of Epstein emergency gets progressively worse, and there's this January 2020 sense of the crisis on the horizon, hitting one country after another. Last week, Australia got its last shipment of fossil fuels. This week, restaurants in India are all shuttered because of gas rationing. People who understand these things better than I do tell me that even if Trump strokes out tonight and Hegseth overdoes the autoerotic asphyxiation, it'll be months, possibly years, before things get back to "normal" ("normal!").

Any time I think about this stuff for even a few minutes, I start to feel that covid-a-comin', early-2020 feeling, only it's worse this time around, because I literally couldn't imagine what covid would mean when it got here, and now I know.

When I start to feel those feelings, I can just sit down and start thinking with my fingers, working on a book or a blog-post. Or working on an illustration to go with one of these posts, which is the most delicious distraction, leaving me with just enough capacity to mull over the structure of the argument that will accompany it.

I can't do anything about the impending energy catastrophe, apart from being part of a network of mutual aid and political organizing, so it makes sense not to fixate on it. But there are things that upset me – problems my friends and loved ones are having – where there's such a thing as too much compartmentalization. It's one thing to lose myself in work until the heat of emotion cools so I can think rationally about an issue that's got me seeing red, and another to use work as a way to neglect a loved one who needs attention in the hope that the moment will pass before I have to do any difficult emotional labor.

Compartmentalization, in other words, but not too much compartmentalization. During the lockdown years, I transformed myself into a machine for turning Talking Heads bootlegs into science fiction novels and technology criticism, and that was better than spending that time boozing or scrolling or fighting – but in retrospect, there's probably more I could have done during those hard months to support the people around me. In my defense – in all our defenses – that was an unprecedented situation and we all did the best we could.

Creative work takes me away from my pain – both physical and emotional – because creative work takes me into a "flow" state. This useful word comes to us from Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, who coined the term in the 1960s while he was investigating a seeming paradox: how was it that we modern people had mastered so many of the useful arts and sciences, and yet we seemed no happier than the ancients? How could we make so much progress in so many fields, and so little progress in being happy?

In his fieldwork, Csikszentmihalyi found that people reported the most happiness while they were doing difficult things well – when your "body or mind is stretched to its limits in a voluntary effort to accomplish something difficult and worthwhile." He called this state "flow."

As Derek Thompson says, the word "flow" implies an effortlessness, but really, it's the effort – just enough, not too much – that defines flow-states. We aren't happiest in a frictionless world, but rather, in a world of "achievable challenges":

https://www.derekthompson.org/p/how-zombie-flow-took-over-culture

Thompson relates this to "the law of familiar surprises," an idea he developed in his book Hit Makers, which investigated why some media, ideas and people found fame, while others languished. A "familiar surprise" is something that's "familiar but not too familiar."

He thinks that the Hollywood mania for sequels and reboots is the result of media execs chasing "familiar surprises." I think there's something to this, but we shouldn't discount the effect that monopolization has on the media: as companies get larger and larger, they end up committing to larger and larger projects, and you just don't take the kinds of risks with a $500m movie that you can take with a $5m one. If you're spending $500m, you want to hedge that investment with as many safe bets as you can find – big name stars, successful IP, and familiar narrative structures. If the movie still tanks, at least no one will get fired for taking a big, bold risk.

Today, we're living in a world of extremely familiar, and progressively less surprising culture. AI slop is the epitome of familiarity, since by definition, AI tries to make a future that is similar to the past, because all it can do is extrapolate from previous data. That's a fundamentally conservative, uncreative way to think about the world:

https://pluralistic.net/2020/05/14/everybody-poops/#homeostatic-mechanism

The tracks the Spotify algorithm picks out of the catalog are going to be as similar to the ones you've played in the past as it can make them – and the royalty-free slop tracks that Spotify generates with AI or commissions from no-name artists will be even more insipidly unsurprising:

https://pluralistic.net/2022/09/12/streaming-doesnt-pay/#stunt-publishing

Thompson cites Shishi Wu's dissertation on "Passive Flow," a term she coined to describe how teens fall into social media scroll-trances:

https://scholarworks.umb.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=2104&context=doctoral_dissertations

Wu says it's a mistake to attribute the regretted hours of scrolling to addiction or a failure of self-control. Rather, the user is falling into "passive flow," a condition arising from three factors:

I. Engagement without a clear goal;

II. A loss of self-awareness – of your body and your mental state;

III. Losing track of time.

I instantly recognize II. and III. – they're the hallmarks of the flow states that abstract me away from my own pain when I'm working. The big difference here is I. – I go to work with the clearest of goals, while "passive flow" is undirected (Thompson also cites psychologist Paul Bloom, who calls the scroll-trance "shitty flow." In shitty flow, you lose track of the world and its sensations – but in a way that you later regret.)

Thompson has his own name for this phenomenon of algorithmically induced, regret-inducing flow: he calls it "zombie flow." It's flow that "recapitulates the goal of flow while evacuating the purpose."

Zombie flow is "progress without pleasure" – it's frictionless, and so it gives us nothing except that sense of the world going away, and when it stops, the world is still there. The trick is to find a way of compartmentalizing that rewards attention with some kind of productive residue that you can look back on with pride and pleasure.

I wouldn't call myself a happy person. I don't think I know any happy people right now. But I'm an extremely hopeful person, because I can see so many ways that we can make things better (an admittedly very low bar), and I have mastered the trick of harnessing my unhappiness to the pursuit of things that might make the world better, and I'm gradually learning when to stop escaping the pain and confront it.

(Image: marsupium photography, CC BY-SA 2.0, modified)


Hey look at this (permalink)



A shelf of leatherbound history books with a gilt-stamped series title, 'The World's Famous Events.'

Object permanence (permalink)

#25yrsago Pee-Wee Herman on his career https://web.archive.org/web/20010414033156/https://ew.com/ew/report/0,6115,105857~1~0~paulreubensreturnsto,00.html

#25yrsago Anxious hand-wringing about multitasking teens https://www.nytimes.com/2001/04/12/technology/teenage-overload-or-digital-dexterity.html

#20yrsago Clever t-shirt typography spells “hate” – “love” in mirror-writing https://web.archive.org/web/20060413102804/https://accordionguy.blogware.com/blog/_archives/2006/4/12/1881414.html

#20yrsago New Mexico Lightning Field claims to have copyrighted dirt https://diaart.org/visit/visit-our-locations-sites/walter-de-maria-the-lightning-field#overview

#20yrsago Futuristic house made of spinach protein and soy-foam https://web.archive.org/web/20060413111650/http://bfi.org/node/828

#15yrsago New Zealand to sneak in Internet disconnection copyright law with Christchurch quake emergency legislation https://www.stuff.co.nz/technology/digital-living/4882838/Law-to-fight-internet-piracy-rushed-through

#10yrsago Bake: An amazing space-themed Hubble cake https://www.sprinklebakes.com/2016/04/black-velvet-nebula-cake.html

#10yrsago Shanghai law uses credit scores to enforce filial piety https://www.caixinglobal.com/2016-04-11/shanghai-says-people-who-fail-to-visit-parents-will-have-credit-scores-lowered-101011746.html

#10yrsago Walmart heiress donated $378,400 to Hillary Clinton campaign and PACs https://web.archive.org/web/20160414155119/https://www.alternet.org/election-2016/alice-walton-donated-353400-clintons-victory-fund

#10yrsago Mass arrests at DC protest over money in politics https://www.washingtonpost.com/local/public-safety/mass-arrests-of-protesters-in-demonstration-at-capitol-against-big-money/2016/04/11/96c13df0-0037-11e6-9d36-33d198ea26c5_story.html

#10yrsago Churchill got a doctor’s note requiring him to drink at least 8 doubles a day “for convalescence” https://web.archive.org/web/20130321054712/https://arttattler.com/archivewinstonchurchill.html

#5yrsago Big Tech's secret weapon is switching costs, not network effects https://pluralistic.net/2021/04/12/tear-down-that-wall/#zucks-iron-curtain

#5yrsago Fraud-resistant election-tech https://pluralistic.net/2021/04/12/tear-down-that-wall/#bmds

#1yrago Blue Cross of Louisiana doesn't give a shit about breast cancer https://pluralistic.net/2025/04/12/pre-authorization/#is-not-a-guarantee-of-payment


Upcoming appearances (permalink)

A photo of me onstage, giving a speech, pounding the podium.



A screenshot of me at my desk, doing a livecast.

Recent appearances (permalink)



A grid of my books with Will Stahle covers..

Latest books (permalink)



A cardboard book box with the Macmillan logo.

Upcoming books (permalink)

  • "The Reverse-Centaur's Guide to AI," a short book about being a better AI critic, Farrar, Straus and Giroux, June 2026 (https://us.macmillan.com/books/9780374621568/thereversecentaursguidetolifeafterai/)

  • "Enshittification, Why Everything Suddenly Got Worse and What to Do About It" (the graphic novel), Firstsecond, 2026

  • "The Post-American Internet," a geopolitical sequel of sorts to Enshittification, Farrar, Straus and Giroux, 2027

  • "Unauthorized Bread": a middle-grades graphic novel adapted from my novella about refugees, toasters and DRM, FirstSecond, 2027

  • "The Memex Method," Farrar, Straus, Giroux, 2027



Colophon (permalink)

Today's top sources:

Currently writing: "The Post-American Internet," a sequel to "Enshittification," about the better world the rest of us get to have now that Trump has torched America. Third draft completed. Submitted to editor.

  • "The Reverse Centaur's Guide to AI," a short book for Farrar, Straus and Giroux about being an effective AI critic. LEGAL REVIEW AND COPYEDIT COMPLETE.

  • "The Post-American Internet," a short book about internet policy in the age of Trumpism. PLANNING.

  • A Little Brother short story about DIY insulin PLANNING


This work – excluding any serialized fiction – is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 4.0 license. That means you can use it any way you like, including commercially, provided that you attribute it to me, Cory Doctorow, and include a link to pluralistic.net.

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Quotations and images are not included in this license; they are included either under a limitation or exception to copyright, or on the basis of a separate license. Please exercise caution.


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Minder lezen, Meer weten.

China veroordeelt 'gevaarlijke' Amerikaanse blokkade Iran

BEIJING (ANP/AFP) - China heeft de Amerikaanse blokkade van Iraanse havens scherp veroordeeld. "Dit is gevaarlijk en onverantwoordelijk gedrag", reageerde een woordvoerder van het Chinese ministerie van Buitenlandse Zaken.

De Amerikaanse blokkade ging maandag in. President Donald Trump nam die maatregel nadat diplomatiek overleg met Iran in Pakistan niet tot een doorbraak had geleid.

De Chinese woordvoerder voorspelde dat het Amerikaanse optreden "de spanning alleen maar zal verergeren, de toch al kwetsbare wapenstilstandsovereenkomst zal ondermijnen en de veiligheid van de doorvaart door de Straat verder in gevaar zal brengen".

Economische druk

Iran had de Straat van Hormuz zelf al feitelijk gesloten voor schepen die het als vijandig beschouwde. Aan Iran gelinkte schepen voeren nog wel door de zeestraat voor de Iraanse kust.

De VS kunnen met de blokkade de economische druk op Iran opvoeren. Dat kan ook China raken, want dat land koopt de meeste olie van Iran.


Verdachte: OM was op zoek naar kunstschatten, niet naar waarheid

ASSEN (ANP) - In het onderzoek naar de roof van de kunstschatten uit het Drents Museum is het Openbaar Ministerie op zoek geweest naar die schatten, "maar niet naar de waarheid". Dat zei verdachte Bernhard Z. (35) dinsdag op de eerste dag van het proces over de zaak bij wijze van openingsstatement. "Het OM heeft mijn belangen volledig links laten liggen."

Z. zegt dat hij een beperkte rol heeft gehad in het geheel en niet bij de feitelijke roof is geweest. "Ik heb op verzoek een auto en kentekenplaten geregeld." Z. wist niet dat hij dat deed voor een geplande "kraak" in het Drents Museum, zei hij.

Twee medeverdachten van Z. hebben procesafspraken met het OM gemaakt, waardoor de kunstschatten, op een gouden armband na, weer terecht zijn. Z. heeft geen afspraken gemaakt. Hij beklaagde zich over het feit dat justitie en politie voor zijn arrestatie zijn foto met naam en toenaam hebben gepubliceerd. Hijzelf en zijn zus hebben daar veel last van gehad, zei hij. "Ik ben daar echt boos om, echt boos."

Z. kondigde aan dat hij verder geen vragen wil beantwoorden.


OM verdenkt Peter Gillis ook van belastingfraude in 2020 en 2021

DEN BOSCH (ANP) - De problemen van vastgoedondernemer en realityster Peter Gillis en zijn vakantieparken met de Belastingdienst zijn mogelijk groter dan eerder gedacht. Het Openbaar Ministerie (OM) verdenkt hem ook van het niet op tijd doen van belastingaangifte in 2020 en 2021 voor zijn ondernemingen. Volgens het OM gaat het om een bedrag van 1 miljoen euro.

Dat komt dinsdag naar voren uit de inhoudelijke behandeling van een nieuwe zaak rond Gillis en zijn bedrijf Oostappen Groep in de rechtbank in Den Bosch. Dezelfde rechtbank veroordeelde hem een jaar geleden tot een gevangenisstraf van twaalf maanden, waarvan zes voorwaardelijk. In die zaak werd hij beschuldigd van belastingfraude, het onjuist voeren en bewaren van administratie, het verstrekken van onjuiste gegevens aan de Belastingdienst en het niet tijdig doen van belastingaangifte tussen 2014 en 2019. Gillis ging in hoger beroep omdat hij volgens zijn advocaten geen eerlijk proces zou hebben gehad.


Hier koop je in Europa je drank spotgoedkoop

Wie in Europa op zoek is naar goedkope drank, moet grofweg niet in het noorden zijn, maar in het zuiden en oosten. Recente Europese prijsvergelijkingen laten zien dat alcohol in Italië tot de goedkoopste van de EU behoort, gevolgd door Duitsland en Oostenrijk. Oudere Eurostat-cijfers wijzen daarnaast op zeer lage prijsniveaus in Hongarije, Roemenië en Bulgarije, wat bevestigt dat Oost‑Europa al jaren een goedkope alcoholregio is.

Voor Nederlanders is vooral Duitsland interessant. Alcohol is daar duidelijk goedkoper dan het EU-gemiddelde, onder meer door lagere accijnzen en harde prijsconcurrentie tussen supermarkten en discounters. Dat verklaart ook waarom grensshoppen populair blijft: wie vanuit Nederland de grens overgaat, betaalt voor bier, wijn en sterke drank vaak minder dan thuis.

Wie puur naar een goedkoop biertje kijkt, komt in bredere Europese ranglijsten vaak uit bij landen buiten de EU, zoals Oekraïne, Belarus en delen van de Balkan, met daarachter Tsjechië, Bulgarije en Hongarije. Maar voor praktische autoritten vanuit Nederland zijn Duitsland en soms ook België de meest logische opties, terwijl echte koopjesjagers in Zuid‑ en Oost‑Europa de laagste prijzen vinden.

alcohol-hoofdsteden-top6

Handig om te weten

Als je alcohol meeneemt uit een ander EU-land, hoef je in principe geen extra btw of accijns te betalen, zolang de drank voor eigen gebruik is en niet voor doorverkoop. De EU hanteert daarbij wel richthoeveelheden; wie daar ruim boven zit, kan bij controle moeten aantonen dat de aankoop echt privé is gedaan.

Goedkope landen

  • Italië – rond 15–20% onder het EU‑gemiddelde.
  • Duitsland – circa 14% onder het EU‑gemiddelde, met zeer scherpe supermarktprijzen.
  • Oostenrijk – duidelijk onder het EU‑gemiddelde, vergelijkbaar met Tsjechië.
  • Tsjechië – goedkope bier‑ en horeca­prijzen, onder het EU‑gemiddelde.
  • Bulgarije/Roemenië

Hoeveel dagen mag je een caravan of camper voor de deur parkeren voordat je in de problemen komt?

Het zonnetje breekt door, de vakantiekriebels komen op gang en dus poppen ze overal weer op in het straatbeeld: caravans, campers en vouwwagens. Maar niet iedereen is daar blij mee, buren kunnen protesteren. Wie zijn rijdende vakantiehuis iets te lang laat staan, kan zomaar tegen een boete aanlopen.

Zodra het kampeerseizoen begint of eindigt, duiken ze overal op in de Nederlandse straten. Handig om dichtbij huis alles klaar te maken, maar gemeenten zijn er minder blij mee. Waar je in landen als Frankrijk soms maandenlang je caravan op eigen terrein mag laten staan, zijn de regels hier een stuk strenger.

Slim trucje? Vergeet het maar

In de meeste gemeenten geldt een duidelijke grens: drie dagen. Daarna moet je voertuig weg zijn van de openbare weg. Die regel staat vast in de zogeheten APV, de Algemene Plaatselijke Verordening. En die is duidelijk: de straat is geen gratis stalling.

Denk je slim te zijn door je caravan na drie dagen een paar meter te verplaatsen? Helaas. Gemeenten hebben daar allang een stokje voor gestoken. In veel regels is ‘parkeren’ vervangen door ‘te plaatsen of te hebben’. Met andere woorden: een klein stukje rijden redt je niet van een boete.

Ook thuis niet veilig

En wie denkt: dan zet ik ‘m toch gewoon op mijn oprit, komt bedrogen uit. Want zelfs op eigen terrein kun je in de fout gaan. Als je caravan zichtbaar is vanaf de openbare weg, kan dat volgens sommige gemeenten het straatbeeld ‘ontsieren’. En ook dat is vaak verboden.

Daar komt nog bij dat er regelmatig maximale afmetingen gelden. Is je caravan langer dan zes meter of breder dan 2,40 meter? Dan mag je die in sommige gemeenten überhaupt niet zichtbaar stallen binnen de bebouwde kom.

De rekening loopt snel op

Negeer je de regels, dan volgt er een boete. En die is niet mals: 129 euro. Blijf je daarna koppig en laat je de caravan gewoon staan? Dan kan de gemeente zelfs besluiten om het ding weg te slepen. De kosten mag je helemaal zelf aftikken.


Rijnmond - Nieuws

Het laatste nieuws van vandaag over Rotterdam, Feyenoord, het verkeer en het weer in de regio Rijnmond

Melding woningoverval blijkt inbraakpoging in Berkel en Rodenrijs

De politie heeft maandagavond onderzoek gedaan bij een woning aan de Pastoor Verburghweg in Berkel en Rodenrijs. Een ruit was vernield en agenten vonden braaksporen. Verder is niemand gewond geraakt en is ook niets buitgemaakt. De politie gaat ervan uit dat niemand binnen is geweest.

Auto met lege wijnflessen in water in Vlaardingen

In Vlaardingen is een auto in het water terechtgekomen langs de Maassluissedijk. Het voertuig werd dinsdagochtend rond 08:00 uur ontdekt, maar lag er volgens de brandweer al uren. Niemand zat meer in de auto. Wel lagen er lege wijnflessen.

The Moscow Times - Independent News From Russia

The Moscow Times offers everything you need to know about Russia: Breaking news, top stories, business, analysis, opinion, multimedia

Ukrainian Drone Strike Kills 1 in Lipetsk Region

Authorities said the attack took place in the city of Yelets, where four people were hospitalized for injuries they suffered in the attack.

The Guardian

Latest news, sport, business, comment, analysis and reviews from the Guardian, the world's leading liberal voice

Shrooms, alligators and the swamp: how the ‘satanic e-girls of TikTok’ revived psychedelic sludge metallers Acid Bath

The Louisiana band came to a tragically early end in the 90s, but after going viral they’ll soon play stadiums with System of a Down. They look back on the claggy riffs and circle pits

‘It’s a mind-blower,” says singer Dax Riggs on the surprising TikTok-driven renaissance of the renowned 1990s psychedelic sludge metallers Acid Bath. In the front row you’ll see an old fan and next to them is a 13-year-old kid singing all the words,” adds guitarist Sammy Duet. “What the hell is going on here?”

Formed in the Louisiana bayou in 1991 with oppressive, swampy sounds soundtracking tales of drugs, death and decay, Acid Bath deftly hopped from treacly, melodic grooves to bluesy licks and fast-chugging thrashers, sometimes in the same song. “Society here was totally decrepit and unfair in a lot of ways, but the beauty of the landscape is supreme,” says Riggs of the backwater wetlands that loomed large in their psyches. Their claggy, peculiar southern gothic style burned bright, before the death of bassist Audie Pitre in 1997 brought their journey to a close.

Continue reading...

All Them Dogs by Djamel White review – murderous desires in the badlands of Dublin

Sparks fly in this homoerotic dance of desire and betrayal, from a powerful new voice in Irish literature

Toxic masculinity, that repressed and repressive male energy that does so much to fuel brutality and abuse, sometimes finds itself on the brink of a vulnerable homoeroticism. In Djamel White’s debut novel All Them Dogs, a vividly propulsive neo-noir, two violent men discover that murderous desires can lead to love as well as death. This is a fast-paced crime thriller with a psychosexual twist, set in a dangerously Freudian arena of Eros and Thanatos.

On the run for five years after killing a man in a gang fight, Tony Ward has returned to the badlands of west Dublin under the protection of a local crime boss. Teamed up with tall and sullen enforcer Darren “Flute” Walsh, Tony is back on his home turf grafting a grim routine of collecting debts and drug dealer’s dues. Propelled through a world of old scores and hard knocks, our protagonist is a shark who has to keep moving simply to survive. But when he and Flute are called upon to kill a failing dealer, their brutal conspiracy becomes a visceral dance of desire and betrayal.

Continue reading...

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"No, I'm good"

'In This Office, Ancient Curses Are Just Another Tuesday.'
via Dust. [slyt. 6:49]

From link:" Mark's last day in the infohazard department is painfully predictable. In a world where magic and physical anomalies are contained by a secret organization, an ancient curse is item number three on the meeting agenda'

Hell Valley

jovo2021 has added a photo to the pool:

Hell Valley

Noboribetsu Onsen, Hokkaido, Japan

De Speld

Uw vaste prik voor betrouwbaar nieuws.

Willem-Alexander geeft ‘stukje land’ cadeau aan Trump

De koning en Máxima hebben gisterenavond een bezoek gebracht aan Donald Trump in het Witte Huis. En iedereen weet: bij de Amerikaanse president en zeker deze kun je niet met lege handen aankomen. Willem-Alexander had daarom iets heel speciaals uitgezocht om cadeau te geven: een stukje land.

“Dear Mister President, this land is yours”, zegt Willem-Alexander in het Witte Huis tegen Trump. “And you can do whatever you want with it. You can even sell things on it if you’d like. In fact, you should. You can even call it Greenland.”

Trump ontvangt het stukje land vol trots, waarna Willem-Alexander nog één ding wil toevoegen: “Well, until April 27, after that, it just belongs to the 'gemeente' again.”

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Trump jaloers op bestaan ‘Kings Day’ in Nederland: ‘Wij hebben alleen No Kings Day’

​Koning Willem-Alexander heeft direct het ijs gebroken bij zijn bezoek aan het Witte Huis door Donald Trump te vertellen over ‘Kings Day’. De Amerikaanse president luistert jaloers naar de verhalen over hoe de Nederlandse koning massaal geëerd wordt op zijn verjaardag. “Wij hebben alleen No Kings Day hier”, treurt Trump hoofdschuddend.

“In Nederland vieren we ieder jaar mijn verjaardag”, vertelt onze koning terwijl Trump hem met grote ogen aankijkt. “We rijden dan in een koets, meestal van goud, door de straten en mensen juichen en zwaaien allemaal. Nederlanders verkopen ook allemaal spullen op straat en gaan dan keihard onderhandelen. Echt waar, om mij te eren krijgen mensen ruzie over vijftig cent. The art of the deal, maar dan live. Zelfs hele jonge kinderen proberen hun slaatje te slaan uit de festiviteiten. En dat allemaal ter ere van mij. Sweet, huh?”

Hoe anders is de werkelijkheid in de VS, concludeert Trump verbitterd. De president kan zijn oren niet geloven. Nog niet zo lang geleden moest hij lijdzaam toezien hoe zo’n acht miljoen mensen de straat op gingen voor een No Kings-protest. “Hebben ze dan ook overal dj’s, bierdrinkende mensen en toeristen die de grachten in lazeren?” vraagt Willem-Alexander geïnteresseerd. Trump kan niets anders dan zwijgen en meewarig met zijn hoofd schudden.

Máxima scrollt wat op haar telefoon tot ze heeft gevonden wat ze zoekt: foto’s van Koningsdag. De president van de VS werpt een blik op het scherm. Zijn mond valt open. “Alles is oranje?” vraagt hij. “Álles”, antwoordt Máxima. “Zelfs de tompoucen bij de bakkers. Hebben jullie dat ook? Tompoucen?” Weer krijgt de vraag geen antwoord.

“27 april zei je?” Trump krabbelt wat in zijn agenda. “Ik weet genoeg.”

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The Register

Biting the hand that feeds IT — Enterprise Technology News and Analysis

UK state bank considers lengthening disastrous IT program

Already £1.3B over budget and 4 years late, NS&I could extend timetable beyond 8 years

The UK's state-backed savings bank has set out options for finishing its disastrous transformation program, including busting the current timeline.…

ClickHole

Because All Content Deserves To Go Viral.

Reducing Distractions: Alamo Drafthouse Has Announced That They’re Going To Stop Showing Movies So Customers Can Focus On Ordering Food

All good businesses adapt and evolve with changing times, and one of America’s most iconic chains just announced a major policy update that’s going to keep them thriving for decades to come: Alamo Drafthouse has announced that they’re going to stop showing movies so customers can focus on ordering food.

Seriously impressive! It’s awesome to see Alamo Drafthouse cut down on distractions so their customers can concentrate on their amazing cuisine.

“Here at the Alamo Drafthouse, we understand that hamburgers and popcorn so much better when you’re not cramming them in your mouth while staring mindlessly at a big, loud movie,” read a message posted this morning on the official Alamo Drafthouse Instagram page, which featured photographs of smiling customers staring intently at plates of hamburgers, popcorn, salads, and cookies, with the large screen previously used to show noisy, distracting movies now featuring the words “It is dinner time” projected in tasteful, understated text. “Everything you loved about the Alamo Drafthouse is staying the same: We’re keeping the room extremely dark, all the seats are facing the wall, and babies are not allowed. All that’s changed is that the annoying films that used to make eating in our restaurant a distracting ordeal are finally getting the boot!”

No matter who you are or what you believe, you’ve got to admit that this is an amazing idea!

In a series of follow-up posts, Alamo Drafthouse emphasized that all of their world-famous rules and regulations will remain in place in order to maintain that one-of-a-kind Alamo Drafthouse experience. Diners will still be prohibited from talking to one another or texting at any point during their meal. Servers will still monitor the dining area for signs of conversation, and will still eject anyone caught violating these policies. You’ll also get to enjoy the amazing Alamo dining experience of sitting in an individual chair with your own little private table, with everyone in the room facing the same direction. The only difference is that you’ll finally be free of those bright, loud movies that made next to impossible to fully appreciate the burgers and salads.

This is so exciting! It’s safe to say that this is going to totally take visits to the Alamo Drafthouse to a whole other level. We can’t wait to visit the Alamo Drafthouse now that they’re getting rid of insanely noisy, distracting movies and letting their diners focus on what matters most: delicious food and world-class beers. Other restaurants, take note: this is how you update your business for the twenty-first century!

Fascinating: This Website Has A Message That Just Says Visitors Will Never Be Able To Read Any Of Its Articles No Matter How Much They Pay Or How Many Things They Click

Some websites monetize their content with paywalls, while others rely on mandatory ad clicks or different subscription tiers. One website, however, refuses to play the game altogether: This website has a message that just says visitors will never be able to read any of its articles no matter how much they pay or how many things they click. 

What a fascinating business model! This website doesn’t give a damn how badly anyone wants to read their work, ‘cause it ain’t happening!

When readers open a link to an article by The Savannah Journal, a Georgia-based digital publisher, their reading experience starts and ends with a pop-up window bearing a bold statement. 

The Savannah Journal staff appreciates your interest in our content. You will never, ever read this article, or anything on our website. We welcome you to try, by either: signing up for a pay-what-you-wish annual subscription at the link below, for which you will receive access to nothing, even if you pay us $1 million per day; or, by viewing an infinite loop of mandatory video ads, which we receive money for, while you receive nothing. 

Thank you for supporting our website. People like you make our work possible.”

Frank Broussard, The Savannah Journal’s Editor-in-Chief, says the website’s unique ‘No Readership’ model allows its reporting staff to do their job without the burden of trying to meet web traffic quotas, publishing eyesore banner ads, or pandering to the interests and intellects of anyone but themselves. 

“The only people reading the incredible work we’re doing at The Savannah Journal are the people writing it, and that’s the way we like it. If you’d like to read our work too, fat chance, ‘cause the only way that’s happening is by getting a job here,” explained Broussard. “Nonetheless, our site’s visitors mean the world to us. We wouldn’t be able to do what we do without people who aren’t allowed to see what we do.”

Is this the future of website monetization?! 

Props to The Savannah Journal for carving out their own path in the cutthroat world of digital journalism. It’s a tough industry, and if their website’s model proves successful, they might just revolutionize it.

LIVE. Eerste Kamer pruttelt door over Asielwetten

VRAAG: Wat hebben Lies van Aelst-den Uijl, Bastiaan van Apeldoorn, Janny Bakker-Klein, Pim van Ballekom, Ruben Baumgarten, Toine Beukering, Ilse Bezaan, Karin van Bijsterveld, Theo Bovens, Robert Croll, Ferd Crone, Johan Dessing, Boris Dittrich, Hugo Doornhof, Mary Fiers, Robert van Gasteren, Math Goossen, Auke van der Goot, Arie Griffioen, Roel van Gurp, Eddy Hartog, Alexander van Hattem, Eric Holterhues, Tineke Huizinga-Heringa, Rik Janssen, Hetty Janssen-van Helvoort, Wim Jaspers, Marian Kaljouw, Antoon Kanis, Meryem Karaaslan-Kilic, Farah Karimi, Eric Kemperman, Ton van Kesteren, Tanja Klip-Martin, Saskia Kluit, Frans van Knapen, Nico Koffeman, Bart Kroon, Ilona Lagas, Andrea van Langen-Visbeek, Robbert Lievense, Marjolein van der Linden (tevens bestuurder RTL/DPG), Henk Marquart Scholtz, Randy Martens, Paul van Meenen, Henk Jan Meijer, Carla Moonen, Shirin Musa (hee, zit die in de Eerste Kamer, helemaal gemist, red.), Peter Nicolaï, Joris van den Oetelaar, Gert-Jan Oplaat, Tekke Panman, Gaby Perin-Gopie, Koen Petersen, Greet Prins, Artie Ramsodit, Jeroen Recourt, Theo Rietkerk, Martin van Rooijen, Daan Roovers, Paul Rosenmöller, Cees van der Sanden, Peter Schalk, Karin Straus, Gom (Gom!) van Strien, Hendrik-Jan Talsma, Noortje Thijssen, Madeleine van Toorenburg, Gala Veldhoen, Ingrid Visseren-Hamakers, Rian Vogels, Mei-Li Vos, Marc de Vries, Pim Walenkamp en Elly van Wijk gemeen?

ANTWOORD: U kunt ze niet (meer), niemand kent ze niet, ze kennen elkaar niet eens en als ze elkaar wel kennen dan gaan ze rollebollend over straat, ze zijn niet eens echt verkozen maar via een volkomen belachelijk getrapt systeem aangesteld, en deze 75 Vijanden Van Het Volk gaan vandaag wel weer de hele dag met minister Bart van den Brink miepen over de asielwetten, die wij inmiddels zo goed kennen. 

U hebt de afgelopen dagen een hoop (deels terecht) horen zeiken op de democratie in Hongarije, maar met deze vertoning staan we ook gigantisch voor paal. Er zijn al een hele hoop checks and balances in het Nederlandse systeem (rechters, Brussel, het complete bestuurlijke onvermorgen van iedereen bij BBB), daar hebben een Eerste Kamer niet bij nodig. En voor iedereen die denkt dat de Eerste Kamer wetten beter maakt omdat de leden zo ervaren zijn, lees dit stuk van GeenStijl de Raad van State er nog eens op na. Die fossielen maken wetten juist slechter, besturen onmogelijk en dragen zo bij aan de erosie van democratische waarden. Opheffen die hap. LIVESTREAM.

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