Get ready to wipe your forehead off with relief, because this is a major whew.
This man accidentally sent a dick pic to his mom, but his dick looked exactly like E.T., so his mom just assumed he meant to send her a pic of E.T.
No heart attack needed. We’re in the clear.
When 27-year-old fisheries biologist Kenton Newton woke up with a rock-hard morning wood yesterday, he thought he would share the wealth with his girlfriend, who had been out of town on a work trip. But when clicking on his recent texts, he accidentally replied to a text thread with his mom instead of the one with his girlfriend.
And then it happened. He sent a picture of his rock-hard cock to his own mother.
Immediately realizing his horrifying mistake, he tried to delete it, but since his mom has an Android phone, there was nothing he could do. But just as he was typing “Mom, please do not look at that. I did not mean to send that to you,” she responded, “I haven’t seen that movie in so long. Cute!”
Relieved that his mom apparently didn’t recognize his erect penis as such, but also confused by what she meant by, “I haven’t seen that movie in so long,” he quickly tried to change the subject. He texted furiously about various other topics, hoping to bury the photo before she could take a second look. But just as he was completing a rambling paragraph about a recent uneventful trip to have his oil changed, his mom responded with an E.T. GIF and then sent another text that said, “E.T. phone home! You were so scared of him when you were little.”
Kenton re-examined the photo he had sent his mother and realized that in his dimly lit bedroom, thanks to his penis’s long, thin, ringed shaft and wide, flat head coupled with its chocolate brown skin, wrinkly texture, and slightly oily luster, his erection did look exactly like E.T.
“Haha, LOL. E.T. phone home. Love you, Mom,” he responded as his heart rate dropped from 400 BPM back down to normal.
“Love you too,” she responded. “It makes me sad to see E.T. when he’s so sick like that!”
This is the kind of story that makes you breathe an eternal sigh of relief. In this specific scenario, and likely few others, Kenton was incredibly lucky to have a penis that looks exactly like E.T.