Well folks, as if you needed another thing to worry about, here is something very concerning: This bottle of pills in an Asian grocery store just has the word “DIARRHEA” in the Matrix font above a picture of Keanu Reeves in sunglasses.
Yikes. Who exactly is buying these pills, and…why?
Even a close examination of this highly questionable product found on the shelves of Asia Mart in Cincinnati, Ohio reveals very little useful information about what horrific purpose these pills could be meant for. The poorly printed graphics and low-quality label only make the product seem sketchier, and outside of the word “DIARRHEA” on the front, the only other English on the entire bottle are the words, “The time has came,” on the back next to a picture of the Predator. While there are some additional Asian characters below the English text, five different online translators were unable to recognize what language this could be. And at $16 for 4 giant pills, this definitely isn’t just some run-of-the-mill herbal diarrhea cure. Its packaging seems to imply some sort of diarrhea journey, perhaps one that makes the user feel as if they’ve been sucked into an adventure in a strange, computer-generated alternate reality.
Um yeah, we don’t want to narc on anyone, but we might be calling the health department here.
Look, people are free to experiment with whatever substances they want as long as they aren’t hurting anyone, but this…this is definitely hurting someone. We feel like we need to buy all of this stuff just to make sure no one else takes it—but who knows if we might be tempted by Keanu’s outstretched hand promising whatever mind-melting diarrhea experience these might offer. There may be no way to keep the world safe from whatever it is these pills do.
A potentially tragic story is currently unfolding that could have a seismic impact on American pop culture if it turns out to be what we think it is: This crime report keeps referring to a victim as John “The Rock” Doe.
While we can’t jump to any conclusions just yet, we’re praying this isn’t what it sounds like.
According to a crime report released this morning by the Los Angeles police department, a hit-and-run victim was admitted to a morgue in Hollywood last night who could only be identified as “a bald, muscular 53-year-old male, 6 feet five inches tall and weighing 260 pounds.” The report says that the deceased victim showed signs of having starred in the films The Tooth Fairy, Black Adam, and The Smashing Machine, but that no further information on his identity was available at this time, and that they were treating him as a John “The Rock” Doe pending further investigation.
Yikes. When you start piecing everything together, you start getting a pretty dire picture of what’s going on here.
“While the victim is currently being referred to as John ‘The Rock’ Doe until we can confirm his identity, officials have advised that the victim would prefer to be referred to simply as John Doe for now so that the public can more easily separate his current acting career from his former career as a professional wrestler,” LAPD Detective Brandon Longshire said in a press conference this morning. “At this time, we’re asking anyone who knows an individual who might have appeared in several films from the Fast And Furious franchise who have gone missing in the last 24 hours to please come forward to smell what this anonymous victim is cooking and hopefully make a positive ID sooner rather than later.”
Absolutely hypothetically devastating. While there’s clearly still a lot that the police don’t know and there are many details yet to be confirmed, we’re not going to sit here and pretend that this situation doesn’t sound pretty bleak. The more we about this John “The Rock” Doe, the more it sounds like the entertainment world is in for some very sad news. Here’s hoping we’re wrong and that this dead body is just some anonymous huge bald guy that nobody cares about!
De winnaars van de smartphone‑revolutie denken hun nieuwe goudmijn te hebben gevonden: slimmere wearables die je op je neus, je kraag of om je nek draagt. Met een nieuwe Qualcomm‑chip, Snapdragon Wear Elite, willen bedrijven als Google, Meta, Samsung, Amazon en Apple een generatie AI‑ gadgets bouwen die altijd aanstaan, continu meeluisteren en direct vertalen, informeren en adviseren – zonder dat je een scherm hoeft vast te houden. Vooral smartglasses zitten in de lift: de verkoop groeide in de tweede helft van 2025 met 139 procent, een duidelijk signaal dat de markt warm begint te draaien. Maar terwijl de techsector droomt van een leven waarin je overal handsfree digitale hulp krijgt, groeit ook de angst voor misbruik en permanente surveillance – mede gevoed door eerdere flops zoals de AI Pin en brillen die ongemerkt filmen.
Smartglasses (zonder of met minimaal display)
BEIROET (ANP/RTR) - De Israëlische aanvallen op Libanon hebben maandag en dinsdag tot minstens 40 doden en 246 gewonden geleid. Dat meldt het Libanese ministerie van Volksgezondheid, aldus persbureau Reuters.
“Boredom is the price we pay for a life rich with meaning. Recognizing this makes the feeling more endurable.”