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Weet u wat WIJ HIER NU op GSHQ gaan doen? De barbecue gaat aan, Zorro loopt al de hele dag blonde Gauloises uit te delen, Dorbeck heeft de pleelist in bewaring (met heel weinig Rolling Stones gelukkig), Spartacus zuipt zichzelf helemaal dronken (2 bier), Schots,scheef haalde nog gauw effe wat flessen rode wijn bij de local Vomarrrr, de Paarse Broek had thuis KIP in de marinade, Ronaldo is al uren (vrij) negatief over de periode van Dennis Bergkamp bij Internazionale, GU komt weer leuteren over obscure metal en Tom Staal kan niet, want die zit bij Nieuws van de Dag, dus dan KOM JE TOCH GEWOON NIET JOH. En Mosterd heeft nog snel dit topic geschreven, de prelude op het weekend, met vandaag nieuwe muziek van onder anderen Aldous Harding en de punkgoden van Social Distortion, maar ook muziek van Gordon, die eigenlijk Cornelis Willem Heuckeroth heet. U bent vandaag NIET uitgenodigd, bij de Grote GeenStijl Zomerborrel binnenkort natuurlijk wel! We hebben wel vlees, geen groente. Proost.

Social Distortion

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Gordon

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George Woodcock - Sonnet

Looking into the windows that doom has broken
Where the vague star illumines death and dust
And the shadows of actions whose ends are forsaken
Stir under the falling walls, senile and lost,

And looking into the doorways where unspoken names
Shine and disintegrate on the rotting plaques,
Surviving their owners who have left like dreams,
Sinking into the past as sea-sucked wrecks,

Remember, stranger, that here men grew and worked,
Loved and were angry, and in general lived
Peaceable lives till one day, spitted on their brothers' knives,
Stuck to the curdling heart by nails they loved,
They died in horror and their towns were left,
And rotted, buried under the dust and leaves.

Flatliners (snoeien)

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Stephen Sanchez (zinger-zangrijter)

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Olof Dreijer (elektro)

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War on Woman (punk)

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Muna (indie)

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Max Cooper (elektro)

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Little Simz (komt op Rabbit Hole)

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Lemon Twigs (rock)

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Abigail Lapell (gedoe)

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Ashley McBryde (kuntrie)

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Josiah + Bonnevilles (Memphis)

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Koyo (punk)

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Jungle Giants (indie)

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Josh Groban (hippe crack)

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Cola (achterlijke naam)

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Broken Social Scene (indie)

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Daughn Gibson (delta blues infused zinger-zangrijter)

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Basement (rock)

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Black Veil Brides (emocrack)

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Crashdiet (GU)

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Darkthrone (GU)

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Draconian (GU)

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Frozen Soul (GU)

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Ingested (GU)

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Panopticon (GU)

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• French rider takes victory on opening day in Bulgaria

• Jonas Vingegaard among those held up by late crash

Paul Magnier won the opening stage of the 2026 Giro d’Italia on Friday in a bunch sprint, after a late crash left most of the peloton out of contention.

The Frenchman Magnier pipped Tobias Lund Andresen in a frantic finish after 147km of largely flat racing from Nessebar to Burgas, in the first of the three opening stages in Bulgaria.

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The theme of earth’s biggest art extravaganza – spiritual rest – felt wildly wrong for our crisis-hit planet. Thank goodness for the pavilions, from fake babies to hi-tech sperm banks to a chocolate Russell Crowe

It was almost over before it even started. This year’s Venice Biennale has been tearing itself apart for months: countries not showing up, artists getting fired, exhibitions being cancelled, funding getting pulled. There were petitions and protests months before a painting was on a wall. The jury quit in the days leading up to the opening, then Iran quit, then the European Commission quit. There were protests against Israel and Russia during the preview, artists went on strike, and artworks were replaced with installations of Palestinian flags.

The whole thing was a massive mess of conflicting politics, personal tragedy and unresolvable ideological differences from the very beginning. And all this without even mentioning that the curator, Koyo Kouoh, died last year and wasn’t able to see her artistic vision through to completion. In a sense, the 2026 Venice Biennale never stood a chance.

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This feels like a good day to distract ourselves from [gestures in general direction of outside world] … so let’s check in on the latest events at Real Madrid. Have they finally found dressing-room harmony? Ah. Eek. Oh boy. Two statements from the club on Thursday revealed an “incident in the first-team training session” involving midfielders Federico Valverde and Aurélien Tchouaméni, with the former suffering “head trauma”. It’s now emerged that Valverde needed stitches after a second altercation in as many days with his teammate. After a full and frank exchange of views in Wednesday’s training session at Valdebebas, Valverde then accused Tchouaméni of leaking news of that exchange, resulting in an unseemly tussle where the Uruguayan fell and hit his head on a table. We can only imagine that poor Álvaro Arbeloa, who had just popped out for morale-boosting bocadillos, walked back in to find everything on fire, like Donald Glover in that Community episode.

If Arsenal fans find that they are getting ripped off by hotels in Budapest for the Bigger Cup final, they might try booking hotels in Vienna near the main train station. Vienna-Budapest is less than three hours by train; a pleasant trip along the Danube. Trains run every hour, cost about €53 one way, and the fastest train makes the trip in 2hr 20min. The hotel prices in Vienna should be back down to normal … the Eurovision Song Contest will be over on 16 May. Bratislava might also be a better place to stay and the beer is cheaper” – Eric Ries (“not a travel agent, nor a worker for the Austrian National Railway”).

On a similar vein to Declan Rice’s misquote (yesterday’s Football Daily letters), I remember sometime ago when Manchester United were having problems, Rio Ferdinand was being interviewed about how the players should react. He replied that ‘someone had to assume the mantelpiece’” – Peter Arnold.

This is an extract from our daily football email … Football Daily. To get the full version, just visit this page and follow the instructions.

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BACK is a complete fantasy western webcomic by Anthony Clark (of Nedroid) and KC Green. A woman breaks out of her coffin and meets four^h^h^h^h three witches who send her off to end the world. Comedy and some surprisingly strong action ensues.

It's not new (not even to Metafilter) but I hope I can be forgiven an eleven-year double.

De chef van Muggles by Gijs kookt ingetogen, bijna behoudend. Alles is lekker, de gerechten zijn in balans en de jus van lam is verrukkelijk, maar van Hassnae Bouazza mag het wel íéts spannender.

Het Saoedische staatsinvesteringsfonds stopt na dit seizoen met het financieren van LIV Golf, de internationale competitie die de PGA Tour een voet dwarszette. Ook uit andere sportevenementen trekt het land zich terug. Wat zit hierachter?

Modeondernemer Martijn N. stond deze week weer voor de rechter, nadat het OM in hoger beroep was gegaan tegen de straf die hij bijna twee jaar geleden kreeg. Er werd nu een „alleszins milde” zeven jaar cel geëist voor tien zedenzaken, een jaar minder dan bij de eerste rechtszaak.

Het geesteskind van ondernemer Hennie van der Most naast de Maastunnel in Rotterdam-Zuid gaat toch weer anders heten. Eerst was het Speelstad, toen Attractiepark Rotterdam, daarna pretpark Rivoli en nu miljonair Wim Beelen de boel heeft overgenomen, wordt het: Spelen bij Beelen. Het park moet deze zomer al open.

Nolen Royalty: “My latest project is Marc Andreessen Egg Game - a game about drawing on eggs to make them look like venture capitalist Marc Andreessen.”